Honestly, Beautifully : honey blade

2002-05-14 - 3:04 p.m.

There's a new interview diary called *Sexual Identity* that I want to sign up to. Except you have to nominate three diary entries that demonstrate your sexuality, and I just looked through my entries and couldn't find any that I thought would do.

And since today has been uneventful, I'm going to write about my first crush on a real girl.

I say "real" girl because the first crush I remember having was when I was about 5 or something and really fancied Cheetarah from Thundercats. But most people I know fancied her anyway, and it doesn't make for much of a story.

The first real girl I had a crush on was a girl who was in my brother's class at school when I was about 7 or 8. Her name was Sarah and she was Chinese.

When I was little I had this fascination with all things Oriental, and it has grown into something much bigger in my adult life. Because the ethnic diversity of my hometown is restricted to a couple of takeaways and some Asian doctors, the day my brother came home and said there was a Chinese girl in his class piqued my interest.

It turned out that her family had just moved to Ireland from China, so Sarah had been basically thrown into school despite the fact that she couldn't speak or understand a word of English.

Eventually my brother passed on the news that she'd learned a bit of English - she'd learned the words to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". After that got out, the older kids used to follow her around and demand that she sing for them, even long after she'd developed a decent English vocabulary.

I felt pretty sorry for her because I got picked on at school too, and she seemed to be pretty lonely, so I made friends with her.

I don't have many memories of things she and I used to do because we only ever saw each other in the playground at school, but she and I were friends until the year I left primary school and went on to grammar school. She took the transfer test the year after I did, in the same year as my brother. I'd hoped she'd get a good enough mark to come to the same school as I did, but she didn't, so she went to the high school instead. I haven't seen her since then.

Now and again I wonder what happened to her and what she's doing now. I've looked on Friends Reunited but the high school isn't listed and she isn't registered with the primary school we went to. I'm not even sure if she'd remember me now, to be honest.

I bet she's really cute these days, too. Not that she wasn't cute when she was 7, of course, but it'd be cute in a different way now.

I wonder if she's in any of the old school photographs my parents are bound to have lying around somewhere...?

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