Honestly, Beautifully : honey blade
latest // older // mail // notes // links // cast list // my rings // rings i'm on
2002-05-15 - 12:41 p.m.
I don't know what I'm going to do with myself today. I don't have too much to do, truth be told. I might go to the Australian shop and buy some more Tim Tams, and after I've written this I'm going to hunt down my breakfast, but otherwise... mehh.
In the interests of building up my potential *Sexual Identity* entries, I'm going to write a bit of a rant. Only a bit, mind, because "rant" implies that I'm angry about something, and all I am is somewhat annoyed.
"Bicurious".
What a stupid phrase.
"Bicurious" is a name given to people who feel attracted to both sexes, but they haven't actually had sex with a member of the same sex yet. So, in order to be bisexual, you have to have actually had sex with both men and women.
A couple of years ago, before I had actually slept with a woman, I was discussing sexuality with a friend. Being that I come from a Pentecostal background and I am Christian-kinda, I said it would be a bit cheeky of me to adhere to the "all gays are evil" mentality, seeing as how I was bisexual. He asked if I'd actually had sex with a woman yet. I said no. He said "ah, so you're not bisexual. You're just bicurious!"
That is just silly, I reckon. You don't call a virgin "heterocurious", do you? You don't talk about "homocurious" either. If straight people can be certain of their sexual identity, and gay people can be certain of their sexual identity, why can't bisexuals?
I wasn't attracted to men until I was, ooh, 12 I think. But I remember being attracted to women at age 5. If I hit 16 and I still feel attracted to women, that's not a whim. That's not me being "curious". That's me being attracted to both men and women, and that makes me bisexual, regardless of my sexual experience (or lack of it).
It's maybe one of those things that goes hand-in-hand with the attitude that "bisexuals are greedy" (incidentally, if anyone says that within earshot of me they get a slap. Especially if they're promiscuous).
And while I'm on that - polyamory isn't "greedy" either. Not if it's proper polyamory.
Polyamory does not equal promiscuity. I am polyamorous but I am not promiscuous. The key part of polyamory is the "amor" part, which not only means "love", it also brings respect with it. I love Neko. Neko is aware of my polyamory. And he's told me he's not comfortable with me seeing other men, so I respect that. And if he were to hint that he's not comfortable with me seeing other women, I'd talk it through with him and try to reach a compromise or conclusion, rather than sneaking around behind his back.
As opposed to people who'll jump into bed with anything on legs and not give a damn who they hurt or what anyone thinks. Why should they? They're getting sex!
Right, I'm getting hungry and I can't think of anything else I'd like to add. I'll probably write more later!
.
.