Honestly, Beautifully : honey blade
latest // older // mail // notes // links // cast list // my rings // rings i'm on
2002-02-28 - 5:02 p.m.
Dear God, please keep me from bursting into tears tonight at work in front of everybody. That would be really embarrassing, especially because people will read it the wrong way, and I could really do without it. Much appreciated. H-B.
I feel like a stretched elastic band that's at breaking point. Ever since the start of this year I've been going at things full pelt, in a constant state of push-push-push. It's been a long time since I slept for longer than about four hours at a time and the stress is showing. Last night I was a leaky tap, today I feel like a ruptured pipe.
You know that reception job I was so optimistic about? I'm seriously considering phoning them up and saying that I don't think I'm the right candidate for them. They phoned me up this afternoon and said they wanted me to come in for training... at 7am on Monday morning. And similar hours for the rest of the week.
Mondays are NO GOOD for me. I'm in uni from 10 till 5 and then I go straight to work. I did tell her that I had an evening job already, I did tell her I was a full-time student, she made out like that was OK. Then today I say that Mondays are bad days for me and she makes out like I never told her anything and it's all my fault.
You know what? I might phone them up tomorrow and tell them to forget it. The telephony pay and hours may be shitty but at least the managers aren't complete arses. And it's not like the hotel is paying any better, it just offers me more hours.
This, of course leaves me with debt issues. What am I going to do now? Fuck knows. Print out some business cards and put them next to my models at Minami? Maybe.
Minami's another thing. Cons used to be such fun, relaxing things for me but I'm not looking forward to this weekend much. I want it all out of the way. I've been pissed about so much by people as regards rooms, and I've been putting so much of my time, effort and energy into my cosplay and models, that I just want it to all be over with.
I need a holiday. I need to just go away for a few days and just sleep. Can't afford that, though, and I don't have the time anyway. Still going at full pelt on uni things. Do I get an Easter break? I don't know. Probably not, and that sucks.
Maybe I could find a cheap flight to Belfast and go home for a weekend or something. Bah, what am I thinking, it's hardly worth it. A whole day to get to Enniskillen, maybe one day there, then another whole day to get back.
Anyone want to put me up some weekend in the near future? I won't cause any trouble, all I'll do is sleep. I can fold myself up and all, you won't even know I'm there.
=sigh=
Better go to work, I suppose...
.
.