Honestly, Beautifully : honey blade

2002-10-02 - 11:10 a.m.

What. The. Hell.

After all this time of having attractive Oriental men run a mile at the sight of me, someone's turned my "attract Oriental men" pheromone on. I've got three of the buggers who are interested in me at the minute. And me all taken and lesbian. Grrr.

Stoopid life.

This was basically realised yesterday, when I went to my first lecture of the year. I went in early to get my loan cheque but didn't allow enough time to go deposit it and get some lunch before my lecture, so I just went into the cafe in the uni building and got myself some crisps and a bottle of coke. I went to the counter to pay for it and saw a guy sitting there, but I didn't pay much attention to him until I was waiting for my change and he said "hi".

Turned around and it's the guy I've been unconsciously stalking for the last two years.

Unconsciously stalking? Yeah, I know that sounds weird. I'll explain.

During the second semester of my first year, we had to split into groups and make a five-minute documentary about the university, such as what facilities were available, some statistics, stuff like that. And we had to get what are called vox pops - short talking heads where you just grab a random member of the public (or, in this case, a student) and get them to say something brief to the camera on a relevant topic (so in this case, we needed people to tell us things about their university experience).

So, two other group members and myself were shooting outside one of the uni buildings and noticed a couple of students sitting outside, so we decided to grab some vox pops while we were there. One of them didn't want to be on camera but the other one - who's Chinese - agreed. So we filmed him talking about his course, thanked him and went on our way.

Later in the semester, while we were editing our final project, he came into the edit suite with his group (I don't know what course he's doing but apparently editing is involved). He noticed us and said hello. Now, the problem with that was that Jayme, the loud-mouth of the group, had already established that Oriental = very very much my type, and couldn't resist standing up, pointing at me and shouting across the edit suite, "She likes Chinese men!!"

Ohh yes, it was a let-the-ground-open-and-devour-me moment.

Anyway, ever since then I keep meeting him on the street or seeing him around town. I'm not consciously out looking for him, I'll just be going on my way and there he'll be. He usually says hello but I always thought it was a kind of knee-jerk, oh-shit-she-saw-me-quick-say-something reaction. Apparently not.

Anyway, we chatted for a bit before I headed off to my lecture. It occured to me once I was in the lecture hall that I don't actually know what his name is, which is a bit weird when you've basically known someone for two years. I went back to the canteen during the lecture break to see if he was still there but he wasn't, so I guess I'll just have to wait until I unconsciously stalk him again ^_^

This comes along with Zhenhai smiling at me again at work (he stopped doing that after a while for unknown reasons but it's started up again), and another Chinese friend who's been sending me text messages with little "x"s at the end.

I am confused and slightly afraid. Only slightly, mind. I come home and giggle about these things.

The lecture itself went pretty well. This was my non-optional module, Popular Cultures. It's shaping up to be pretty interesting but it's going to be a shitload of work. The first assignment is a journal assignment; you're supposed to go to all the lectures and write a short journal entry about one of the key concepts discussed in each one. If you do it week-by-week it shouldn't be too much of a problem, and since I have no classes today I'm going to catch up on the reading and do my journal entry this evening. The other thing about this module is that it encourages reflexivity - the second assignment allows you to write your own essay question and you're supposed to draw upon your own life experience to answer the question, as well as relevant reading.

The lecture yesterday was about identity and how it is formed, but specifically with regard to post-modernism. There are three different attitudes towards how someone's personal identity is formed; one that states you are entirely of your own making and not influenced by anything around you; one that suggests you are largely a product of your environment eg family, education, social background, peer groups etc.; and one that says that people can have multiple, and sometimes contradictory, identities, and that how we see ourselves is constantly changing over time.

The latter one is the post-modern model, which is the one we spent most time discussing in class.

The great thing about yesterday was that I was taking notes in the class and when the lecturer picked out a piece in the reading that says we gain a sense of identity by drawing on our cultural resources and selecting influences that speak to us and give us answers, my mind clicked and immediately screamed "uses and gratifications!!" at me. So the last two years have taught me something after all! Yay!

=scans back through the entry=

Ooh, bloody hell, this looks lengthy. I'll stop now. I need to get dressed, have a shower and commence with the reading. Getting lunch would be a good idea too.

Hey, hang on a minute... have I suddenly become a really conscientious student or something? Whee! I knew it had to kick in sooner or later :)

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