Honestly, Beautifully : honey blade
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2002-04-17 - 11:38 p.m.
My God, I'm so tired.
I went to Reading last night because I was scared to be alone in my flat in case I did something stupid. Neko and I stayed up all night with Adi watching films and things.
Adi wanted to watch Audition, so we did. I think it freaked him out a bit. Then Adi suggested that I might want to watch a film called The Doom Generation. So we did.
It was fucking awful.
I'm not hard to please in terms of films, as most people know. You can count the films I've really hated on one hand. The Doom Generation is one of them.
It's a horrible film. But it's horrible in a completely unnecessary, ooh-look-at-us-and-how-daring-we-are kind of way, as opposed to, say, Requiem for a Dream, where there's a good reason for the horrible imagery. Never trust a film that's released in conjunction with a production company called "Teen Angst Productions". Ugh.
Anyway. Apart from that.
I really wish Neko had come back here with me. I'm really lonely right now and I seriously want some company. I don't like being on my own while I have things messing with my head.
In many ways I'm just fed up of being here. I want out of this flat. I want out of my uni course. I want out of this country. I want to get the fuck out of here and away from this life so I can get into that life and leave everything that I've fucked up to date behind.
That life? I guess that would be the one that I'm sure I'll have someday. Last night Neko and I were cuddling in bed and I asked him if he'd come to Japan with me and live in the house from Tonari no Totoro.
I like the thought of that - living in a little traditional-type house on the outskirts of Tokyo and just commuting to work everyday. If Neko and I both worked in Tokyo we could meet up after work, go to Shinjuku, eat in a gyuudon bar for �1.50 each and then travel home together.
That sounds really seriously fucking nice right now. And that's why I want to get out of this and into that as soon as possible.
Anyone who talks to me over IMs - don't be too surprised if I don't feel like talking much over the next few days. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone much right now, apart from Neko.
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